The Britts call them trousers, we call them pants, our moms like to see them over the waist and a bit loose, we want them skinny, form fitting and of course, below the waist, we secretly hate those women who can pull of the shortest pair of shorts, but when push comes to shove, we did come up with a lot of styles and cuts over the years. So it’s fairly simple to conclude that out of the many ones we have at our disposal, there are those that simply don’t do, those which were either forced upon us by our mothers or that steadily grew our inner fire of disgust. Here is a list of some of the pants we secretly hate (or not so secretly hate).
10 Types of Pants we Secretly Hate
1. Elastic Pants
It’s fair to assume that if you are not already pregnant or planning to be, elastic pants should be something you run away from as musical harmony seems to flee in the sight of Nicky Minaj. And it’s also safe to say that ginormous meals are NOT an excuse to make use of the elastic waist for some much needed extra tummy room.
2. Leather pants worn by men
Despite the obvious moral and ethical problems that come with deciding to wear the skin of an animal (or more) that had to be slaughtered so that you can wear your pants, and leaving aside infertility risk, yeast infection risk and the infernal sweating that comes with them, leather pants worn by men look downright silly. Granted, you may have your fetishes with women but even there I keep my reservations. No, no, no.
3. Leather Pants with a Twist – Leather Track Pants
Well if simple leather pants weren’t enough, there is a new development in the fashion world with the emergence of leather track pants. Yes! You heard me! They come equipped with fashionable elastic waistbands (that merge our aforementioned elastic pants with normal leather pants) so we can all agree, this is a double no-no.
4. Low Baggy Pants
The story with the prison inmates and the sexual availability being signaled it something we all are acquainted with, but if it comes to being serious, the only thing these pants do, besides screwing with normal human anatomy in our heads, is make the wearer look ridiculous, not at all a thug as he or she would assume. They are simply ill fitting and wrongly chosen.
5. High Waist Trousers Worn by Men
Well if there is one sight I absolutely dread is the sight of men wearing those ill-designed trousers that begin somewhere right under the nipples, of course secured in place by an equally ugly belt, that somehow seem to make everything look terribly wrong no matter how you take it. Granted, there are some high-waist options that are well-tailored, but they are tricky.
6. Women Saggy Pants with Elastic Ankle
There are several form fitting, quite flattering ones, but the majority out there is neither flattering, nor feminine. They simply look like a large piece of material you threw around yourself a couple of times and tied it up with elastic to get it over with. And even if I am no fashion expert, a woman’s body is beautiful and should be dressed accordingly. With these lovely creations, you accentuate the hips, hide the legs and cut off the ankles so you also look smaller. All the ingredients of disaster put into one little article of clothing.
7. Converse Pants
Must we even go there? Shoes are shoes (and I know how much we all love our Converse) but in all fairness what is awesome in some place must not necessarily have the same success in other places. And Converse Pants are exactly what I am talking about. Merging the shoe with the pants and making a 2 in 1 item is simply not the best idea. And did I mention they also come in pink?
This has been said time and time again but for the sake of argument we will go over this again. Leggings are NOT trousers. This means they are not meant to be worn with anything other than really long blouses, that cover your fanny (both standing up and bending over) or dresses. Moreover, they are not business-appropriate so make sure you use them as part of your casual Saturday look and not Monday work ensemble.
9. Mom Jeans
I am not out for blood, nor am I trying to hurt anyone’s feelings but mom jeans simply do not flatter anyone, not even the prettiest and slimmest of models. So high waistband, generous cut around the waist, they simply make you look huge in all the wrong places? Ha! You are wearing mom jeans. Steer clear of such fashion no-no’s.
10. Short Shorts
Grant me my misuse of the English language since I am trying to make a point. Do you remember the episode of “Friends” where Phoebe had this tennis loving friend with the really short shorts whose…glory was always showing in the oddest of moments? Well, shorts do this pretty much all the time. Whether they are “Jorts” (short jeans) for which I am not even going to list all the reasons you should always, and I mean always say no, track-pant shorts or any other type of shorts, less is not more, or at least not in this case. If there is no room to stick your hands in your pockets or you simply have no pockets you might want to rethink the look.
I am aware that fashion is always taste-dependent and while I acknowledge that each of us have the right to fall in love or hate different articles, there seem to be some that unite us all in a common feeling of refusal and these have been just some of them. Feel free to add your opinions in the comments below if you feel I missed something that should have otherwise not been overlooked.
Shorts are not pants. So why did you include them in an article about pants? That’s like me ranking my top ten favorite motorcycles, and then when I get to number 10, I say, “A sail boat!” It isn’t in the category of motorcycles.